Funny Jokes SMS

Much ways to impress a girl
respect her
honor her
love her
care her
obey her
sacrifice for her
how 2 impress a boy
just smile once
[game finish]

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Jokes SMS Messages
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Boy wished to girl before exam: Hey all the best

Girl wished: All the best to you too

But girl scored 80 marks & boy failed

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.

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Moral: Only boys wish with true heart.

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Jokes SMS Messages
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Boy to Girl’s Father:
Its Just A Formality,
But I Still Ask,
Can I Marry Your Daughter’?

Father:
Who Told U Its Just A Formality’?

Boy:
The ‘Gynecologist’..

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Jokes SMS Messages
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Boy: Will you marry me?

Girl: No

Boy: But Why?

Girl: My family will not agree.

Boy: Who is in your family?

Girl: 1 Husband and 2 kids.

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Jokes SMS Messages
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- In politics, if you want anything said ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.
[Margaret Thatcher]

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Famous funny Quotes
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- Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.
[Golda Meir ]

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Famous funny Quotes
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- Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.
[James Thurber]

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Famous funny Quotes
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- When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
[George Burns]

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Famous funny Quotes
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- Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
[George Carlin]

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Famous funny Quotes
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- We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.
[George Bernard Shaw]

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Famous funny Quotes
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- TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
[Frank Lloyd Wright ]

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Famous funny Quotes
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- Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.
[Albert Einstein]

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Famous funny Quotes
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- There’s a great power in words, if you don’t hitch too many of them together.
[Josh Billings]

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Famous funny Quotes
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- The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.
[Natalie Wood]

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Famous funny Quotes
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When someone who is deeply
in Love with you tells that
You are
cute, beautiful, & angelic,
I agree. It’s true,
Believe me,
I swear because love is definitely blind.
Happy Valentine’s Day

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Falling in love is a sweet ambition,
finding true love is a life time mission..
Take my word, follow the Pakistani tradition
& marry your dad’s decision !
Happy Valentine’s Day

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Plenty of love, Tons of Kisses,
Hope some day, to be your Mrs…
Happy Valentine’s Day

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My love is like a cabbage
Divide into two…
The leaves I give to others
The heart I give to you….

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Boy:Suit acha pehna he
Girl:Thnx
Boy:lipstik boht achi lagai he
Girl:Thnx
Boy:make up bhi boht acha kiya he
Girl:Thnx bhaiya”
Boy: Sohni fair v nai lagdi pai.

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Funny Jokes Urdu Messages
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Boy : Why
You Did Not
Close Your Eyes
When
I Kisses You ?
.
.
.
.
….
.
Girl : Kaminay .. Last Time Eyes
Close Ki Thein, Tab Tu Ne Mere
Purse
Se 500 Rupy Chura Liye The … =P:)

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Funny Jokes Urdu Messages
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1 admi adhi rat ko apni moti biwi ko jaga k bola
“begum! sisk sisk kr mrna acha he ya 1 dum?”

begum:”1 dum”

admi:”to phir apni dosri taang b mere opr rakh do.”

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Funny Jokes Urdu Messages
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Wife:I will die.
Husband: I will also die.
Wife:why will you die?
Husband:because i cant bear such great happiness.

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Funny Jokes Urdu Messages
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A Man goes to a shop:
“I need a ladies suit..?”
Shopkeeper:
“Sir, Begum kay liye chahiye ya koi achha sa dikhaon?”

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Funny Jokes Urdu Messages
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Logic-
Teacher to student:A=B,B=C, So C=A
Now tell me an example just like that
student:I Love you, you love your daughter then I Love your daughter…….

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Funny Jokes Cute Messages
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A good discussion is like a MINI SKIRT.
Short enough to pertain interest and long enough to cover the subject.

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Funny Jokes Cute Messages
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I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot,
This describes everything you are not!

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Funny Jokes Cute Messages
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Hey friend remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom
&
without ugliness there can be no beauty…
so the world needs YOU after all!

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Funny Jokes Cute Messages
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Husband: How long can a man live without brains?
Wife: I don’t know. How old are you?

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Funny Jokes Cute Messages
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You are ABCD
Attractive beautiful cute dear
EFG
Excellent funny gorgeous
HIJ
Hello I am joking

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Funny Jokes Messages
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Son: ‘ Mom, when I was on bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.’
Mom: ‘Well, you have done the right thing.’
Son: ‘But mom, I was sitting in daddy’s lap.’

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Funny Jokes Messages
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From death bed, the husband called his wife and said, “One month
after I die I want you to marry Sam.”

“Sam! But he is your enemy !” “Yes, I know that ! I’ve suffered all
these years so let him suffer now.”

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Funny Jokes Messages
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Sardar ji ( to doctor ) : Doctor, I have a problem.
Doctor : What’s your problem?
Sardar ji : I keep forgetting things.
Doctor : Since when do you have this problem?
Sardar ji : What problem?

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Funny Jokes Messages
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A friend asks sardar how was your exam?
Sardar: It was okey but i couldn’t answer past tense of THINK.
I thought, thought & finally i wrote ‘THUNK’.

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Funny Jokes Messages
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Relationship between lovers in today’s age.
You can touch each other
but you cannot touch each others mobile..

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Pathan: oye teray chotay bhai ki moonchain hen or teri nahi hen?
Aisa kiun?

2nd Pathan: Is main kiun wali kya bat he?
Wo Abu pe gya he or me ammi pe.

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Ho nhi sakta k mujay teri yaad na aye,
bhool k bhi bhulaon wo waqt na aye,

Tum bhulo to tumhen agli sans na aye
Me bhoolun
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.
.
.
Chal koi gal nai Banda bhool bhi jata hai…;)

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Judge: Tum teesri baar adalat me aa rhay ho, tumhain sharam nhi ati?

Sardar: Oh janab, tusi roz anday o, tuwanu te fair duub k mar jana chahi da na….

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Aik bona shadi ki raat ko room mein enter hotay hi biwi se bola,
“Chal bakri ban.”

Biwi: ye kya bdtameezi hai?
Bona: bdtameezi nhi!
Kamray ki kundi lagani hai.

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Relationship between lovers in today’s age.
You can touch each other
but you cannot touch each others mobile..

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When i open my eyes every morning
i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you….
Why should only i suffer!!!

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style of break up:
Boy bought gift for His Girl friend-
Girl Friend:What the hell would I do with this rocket?
Boy: U wanted stars?
Now sit on it and GET LOST…………

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World’s smallest resignation letter?
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.
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Respected sir,
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.
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.
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I love Ur wife.
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Thank you

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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

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Teacher : Which is more important to us,
the sun or the moon?
Pupil : The moon.

Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night
when we need it but the sun gives us light
only in the day time when we don’t need it.

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Four guys
1 from Howard:
1 Oxford
1 Texas
&
1 Sardar from Punjab university

1 common question:
What is the fastest thing in world?

Oxford:Light
Howard:Thought
Texas:Blink of an eye
Sardar:It’s loose motions,
because last night I was lying in my bed
& before I could blink,think or turn on the lights,
it was over!

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Phone Ki Ring hui.
Husband: Mere liye Ho To Kehna Mai Ghar pe Nahi Hun.
Wife Phone Utha k : wo ghar pe hain.
Husband: Mana Kiya phr Bhi
Wife : Ji wo mere liye tha

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Teacher: Johny, If Your Father Earned Rs. 100,00,000
And Gave Half Of It To Your Mother,
What Would Your Mother Have?

Little Johny: A Heart attack

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Adab ki inteha!

Mein sirf ye soch kar paper khali de ata hun
Faraz!

K kahin teacherz ye na kahen k agay se jwab deta hai!

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Ek pathan ka school main 7th class main new admission hua .
Teacher: beta batao Allama iqbal kon hain?
Pathan: hum ko kya pata hum to school mai naya aya he….

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I wanna tell you that our friendship means alot 2 me.
When You cry i cry. U laugh i laugh.You jumped out of the window… I looked down & then… i laughed again…..

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When i wake up every morning i pray to God that everyone
should have a friend like you…. Why should just i suffer!!!

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Polio team darwazay pe ai
Pathan: begum Bandooq or kartoos kahan hen.

Polio team bhagi

Pathan ne awaz di: Ruko ye humare bachon k naam hen

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Agr aj apko zyada sardi lag rhi he
To srdi se bachne k lie jo krna he kar len

Me ap ki nokar nhi hun
jo har cheez k lie totkay btaon.

(Zubaida apa aj ghussay me hen)

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Principal 1 pathan student se: School ka time
8:30 he or tum 9:30 pe school aa rhe ho.

Pathan: O yaara! tum humara intezar mat kia karo.
School laga dia karo.

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